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Handbook for the Criminally Insane

Zombies. Ghosts. A serial killer. Demon Chihuahua.
So, you know, bring an axe or something.

Welcome to Redmondsburg.

You’re just gonna love it here! From the tall statue of Hank Redmond – the founder of the town – in Pheasant Park, to the local eateries and historic library over on Whipple Avenue. Main Street is literally gorged with quaint antique emporiums and locally owned trinket shops!

You’ll be so busy soaking in the small town atmosphere that you won’t even mind the smell emanating from somewhere south of town. There’s nothing of any interest happening at Lakeshore Cemetery, and there are no strange or repulsive odors. In fact, forget I even mentioned it. Dead means dead in Redmondsburg. We promise.

The Mayor, currently campaigning for re-election, is a friendly sort. He isn’t bent on sacrificing an innocent on Halloween in order to bind with an ancient and unholy power. Nope, not him. His little dog isn’t a bloodthirsty demon. Of course not! It’s perfectly safe here.

You’re just gonna love it! We all do.

Oh and if you see someone that looks dead or something, it’s probably the flu. It definitely wouldn’t be a zombie. Because that would just be stupid.

August 2025
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