“In 1981, I became the proud possessor of my first farm, comprising eighty-four acres (‘more or less’) in Loudoun County, Virginia. Besides the property, the transaction included an array of tractors and specialized equipment for making hay and harvesting corn, as well as a small starter herd of Hereford cows. … It would be a piece of cake, the seller said. … Not exactly, as I would soon find out …”