If you die in the small town of Big Rapids (in the wintertime), it’ll cost you double to be buried because they use dynamite to loosen the frozen soil. Additionally, the city charges by the square foot for burial plots, so it pays to die short.
The biggest employer in Big Rapids, Michigan is Ferris State University. Because of the extreme weather conditions, professors that are more like mountain men than professors, are recruited from faraway remote places like Alaska. Of course, a third of the freshman class suffer from isolation sickness. Most first year students drop out before the start of their second semester, and the students that do stay refer to Ferris State University as “The Overlook Hotel.”
Need a place to stay while you’re in Big Rapids? Head over to Bedbadger.com, and the Badger will direct you to a three story Queen Anne on Rust Avenue. You’ll find Rust Avenue situated in the historic district a couple of blocks north of the Big Boy restaurant. The homes there are reminiscent of another time, another place. Behind locked doors lives a judge, an ex-mayor, a bank courier, a police officer, a widow, a few teachers, a couple of lesbians, and the grandson of Professor Bessie Pavlovich. He sleeps during the day, and works the night shift at the Zanderdelli mushroom farm. He doesn’t have a car. He walks to work. He’s single. Of course, he’ll rent you a room in his grandmothers Queen Anne for only forty bucks a night. “I need something, anything, and I need it now,” says the grandson of Bessie Pavlovich. Of course, that “something” is on its way.
Written by world-class humor writer Norm Augustinus, Bedbadger is a tragically entertaining read that will move you through a gamut of emotions. Highly recommended for anyone that appreciates humor.